Benefits Suck

I found out today that I am entitled to 12 weeks off from work for Maternity leave - sounds great huh? NO. It is all unpaid. I am forced to take all my vacation days and sicks days, which if I take NONE of either from now until April I will have a total of 32 days. 5 days in a work week = 6.5 weeks. So 6.5 weeks of paid leave and anything else is UNPAID. AND, get this, to continue my health insurance I will have to pay my job for my premium each month while I am not being paid.

So, it looks like I will be taking 6 weeks off and then trying to convince them to let me work part-time ... in the meantime I will be BEGGING my mom and Jennifer to stay longer than already agreed so the baby doesn't have to go to daycare. They both already agreed to 1 month each, so 6 weeks + 8 weeks = 14 weeks or 3 months. BOO! I wanted to try and keep the baby home until he is 5 months. Guess a working mom doesn't get to have it all. SUCKS.

Newest U/S

Yesterday Henry and I returned to the hospital for another u/s. The baby measured 8 weeks and 4 days - the due date is April 10th. This seems to be the date that keeps coming back - so we are relatively certain it will be right around then. The baby was growing normally and his (yes I said his, see below) heartbeat was 177! So everything is good in his world. This was probably the last time we will see him for 8 more weeks! Makes me so sad, I would would see him everyday if I could. But, Henry says he needs his privacy to grow and doesn't need to be interupted by u/s every week!

In re: it's a boy. We are just going to go ahead and put it out there - we feel certian this is a boy. I have felt it was a boy since I got pregnant, though I have to admit I would love a girl. Henry became convinced it was a boy at the last u/s. Pretty much everyone feels it is a boy, Mom, my accupuncturist, Mamaw ... except Aunt JoAnne, whom I think is HOPING for a girl. We feel so certain we said yesterday we should just start calling him by his name - but I think we will hold off on that. So we find out in 8 weeks - but until then, something drastic would have to happen to change my mind about my prediction.

Update on Baby

So yesterday I ended up in the emergency room after another sh*&*&ty experience with yet another OBGYN (I have a 1st appt with a 3rd on Monday - story for another post!). My appt I was scheduled for yesterday was cancelled and b/c of the spotting and cramping I was sent to the ER. We were there for nearly 5 hours and Henry stayed for almost the entire time, I was very grateful to have a supportive husband with me - I can't imagine how girls go through this on their own. Anyway, they did an u/s and we saw it heartbeat! It was a strong heartbeat at 144 bpm! It was so cool - we had a colored u/s so you could see the blood go in and out of the heart and pump to the brain. SO AMAZING! I cried and Henry was in awe - he said it was the best thing he has ever seen in his life and I felt the same way.

All my blood work came back normal but I have a UTI - apparently some women are prone to these in pregnancy and I am one of the lucky ones. Honestly I am happy to take a UTI. They gave me a Rx for antibiotic, which after some research I reluctantly have begun taking. It is making morning sickness even worse, but I know a kidney infection could be really dangerous to the baby. So I gues the UTI was the reason for the cramping.
THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND POSITIVE ENERGY - KEEP IT COMING OBVIOUSLY THE BABY IS SUCKING IT UP!

Belly, Drama, Heartbeats and Cravings

BELLY: 1st of all - Why am I so gigantic? One Dr. said it is gas --- but really can gas make you get THAT big. Also, my belly is hard. This picture may make me look a little bigger than real life, but not much - it is BIZZARE. Kind of cool though, you can actually feel my uterous in my abdomen, about eh size of a grapefruit.

DRAMA and HEARTBEATS: Today I have my 2nd appts with the OBGYN although it is the 1st appt with THIS OBGYN. I am very nervous. I have been having some minor "issues" this weekend that cause me a little concern. I hope everything is ok, I have read that if we hear a heartbeat today that is 95+ bpm then there is a 95% the baby will be ok. So, we are hoping for a strong heartbeat. I cannot wait for 1st trimester mania to be over so I can enjoy this baby. I do feel as though I have calmed down alot.
CRAVINGS: On another note - This weekend I had morning sickness for SURE. Nausea, Nausea, Nausea. I also had a funny food moment. We we sitting in a restaurant with my brother in law and sis in law and I had order eggs and toast and once it arrived, it just wasn't doing the trick. I asked Hen if I could have one of his pancakes, and began to eat that ... about this time I happened to glance over at David (bro in law) and he was eating a pickle. It was as thought the pisckle strted glowing with a golden ring around it - that was exactly what I wanted. So I order so pickles and they made my day. So Pickles and Pancakes! LOL.
Then yesterday, I woke up DYING for Lucky Charms. Weird b/c I haven't eaten these since I was about 20 y/o. James and I went to the grocery and while there discovered crab legs on sale. So for lunch I had crab legs and Lucky Charms! LOL. I have to say, it was as though I had been searching for the perfect food for a month and found it in the Lucky Charms!

Thanks for reading. Wish us luck today. Hopefully in a few hours will be a happy and relaxed post. Either way, I'll update.

Enough of Symptoms - How We Found Out.

So enough of discussing my myriad of daily symptoms - suffice it to say they change daily and you never know what you are going to get.

Our "Discovery":

So the last week of July my mom was in town and there were a couple of "red flags" that went unnoticed. In retrospect, they were some pretty obvious signs, but after 2 years of trying and being a relatively hormonal person in general and "symptoms" of pregnancy are part of my regular life. So, while mom was here there were 2 times I ordered food only to have it come and I was unable to eat it. Also, I kept (excuse the language) dry heaving over absolutely anything. And most of all, my boobies hurt so much I actually took an anti-inflammatory! Yet with all of this I didn't even think about being pregnant, which was unusual b/c usually around that time of month I would begin to wonder - in July I did not.

Mom left on Saturday and we had a birthday party for our friends Jeff and Maria at our house that night. I had special requested that Henry try to replicate an Apple Mojito I had while in Nashville earlier in July. Well, he did an excellent job and I had MORE than my fair share of apple mojitos.

On Sunday morning I woke up and felt kind of rough. While sitting on the back porch I started to think about how "late" I really was and came up with about 5 days. I had 3 HPTs inside and decided to take one. You have to realize, I have taken DOZENS of these tests, almost every month for 2 years and never 1 time has it read anything but negative. In fact, I have done it so often, that usually I fail to even look at the test until hours later - at which time I glance at it as it heads towards the trash can. So , as usual, I peed on the stick, set it on the bathroom counter and began to walk away - but some caught my attention - out the corner of my eye, this test looked different ... it had a + sign and VERY clear + sign! I screamed, ran to the bedroom (where Henry was asleep - it was 7:45 am on a Sunday) and jumped on him and screamed "I'm Pregnant" then I began to cry hysterically and fell into his arms (crying again now thinking about it!).

After crying for maybe 5 minutes, I began to think the test was faulty. So, I went and took anoth and again it had a clear +. I asked Henry maybe 10 times if he also saw a + sign and if it was really dark enough - mind you the test couldn't get much darker! Now conviced that the package was defective, I insisted on taking a different type of test. So we got a digital test - which I took and it read "PREGNANT" - I made Henry take a picture of it. At this point Henry is conviced and I am still on the fence a little. We called mom ... I said "I'm Pregnant" her response ... "Are you kidding?". We then told Henry's mom, James and later that day Sarah.

On Monday morning, still not convinced this is accurate, I went to my Dr and they did a urine test - it was positive. Still unsure, I went to a walk in clinic Monday afternoon for a blood test - positive. Still think that maybe I have a weird hormonal abnormality going on making tests show positive, I call my Dr. She scheduled for me to come in the next Tuesday (9 days after testing + / 5 weeks and 6 days pregnant) and she did an u/s and there it was - a little bean. At that point, I became sure ... there really is a VERY tiny baby inside me.

So here we are at almost 8 weeks ... and so far ... so good. Last night I dreamed about the baby for the first time - which was strange b/c I am VERY connected to my dreams. I woke up feeling much more connected and secure with this baby (who I believe is going to be a boy).

Weirdest Symptoms

My pregnancy symptoms are so WEIRD. I mean not your run of the mill morning sickness ... I always get the weirdest of symptoms. Like ... sneezing. I mean who knew you could be basically allergic to pregnancy? Well, I am - I sneeze all the time. Dr. says this is normal and also stuffy nose. Today, I have shortness of breath - Like I can't breath even to walk up 1 flight of stairs I am out of breath. Apparently this is because of progesterone increase. Odd. I am happy for the symptoms as they are indicative of my baby being ok - but man o man are they weird.

Today's ... Feelings.

So this morning i woke up and had amy new breakfast shake - flax seed, ginger, yogurt, strawberries, banana. It was delicious and no morning sickness today yet. Yay. Maybe it was just a pasing thing.
I am feeling nervous again. Trying to fight it and stay positive. I think I need another u/s by now! I ran into a girl I know this morning who is due next month, she was talking about how she m/c the 1st time before this pregnancy - it just gets me so freaked out. I try to remember, that if the baby is healthy and I am healthy then everything will be ok. It is hard. A client of mine told me - it is the scariest 9 months you will ever experience. Sad, but true. I know worrying doesn't help, and I am working on staying positive.
It is difficult to believe I am really pregnant and everything is ok, when I don't feel or look pregnant - though I do look fat, which is a little depressing - LOL. I am sure all of this is another passing hormonal phase - one which I hope passes soon.